What to do if you suspect Infidelity
Depending on who you discuss your issue with, will depend on the advice you are given.
Relationships are built on trust and communication. Psychologists will always advise that if there are ever any problems in your relationship, then you should discuss your thoughts and concerns with your partner. Psychologists hope that you being open, sincere and honest with your feelings will be reciprocated by your partner.
The following notes are based on years of experience in dealing with people who have gone on the rollercoaster of emotions that are experienced when you suspect your partner is cheating.
99% of our clients will listen to the advice given by Psychologists and will approach their partner about their concerns. Whilst this approach is good in theory, from our experience, no partner will admit to anything without any hard, un-deniable evidence.
Once you confront your partner about your suspicions, they will deny anything is going on, and will then turn it back on to you. They will make you feel guilty for ever doubting their trust, questioning their integrity and accusing them of risking all they have like family and home.
From our experience, no-one who has been accused of Infidelity, has thrown their hands in the air and said, “Congratulations, you worked it out”.
If you suspect Infidelity, as hard as it is, remain and carry on with your life as normal. Do not arouse any suspicions that you know what is going on. If you can trust family or friends to help, then do so.
Take notes and keep diary records of their movements. Keys things to look for are phone calls at strange hours or coming home late. Keep track of when the phone calls are made or received, and when they are home late or leave home all of a sudden after receiving a strange call.
If there is a pattern, then use your family or friends, or hire a Private Investigator if you do not want anyone else to know, to follow them to get the proof that you require.
Once you have received the hard evidence that you require, then confront your partner. This could be the toughest challenge you may in your relationship, and we suggest that you have a good think about what you want to do after the information is out.
You may decide to leave your partner, you may decide to stay. You may want to try counselling, to help resolve the issues that caused the infidelity to begin with or it may not be your decision, as once it is all out, your partner may just leave you.
Unfortunately in Australia, Infidelity is not a valid reason for divorce in the eyes of the courts, so obtaining proof to go to court with is futile. Obtaining proof though, can give you peace of mind within yourself and your family, that it was not you that caused the separation or divorce.
Infidelity Specialists
Private Investigators
Masters License No: 409430778
ABN 40 212 072 714
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